Cocktail Recipes, Spirits, and Local Bars

What to Order Off Fuds' Pretentious (and Fake) Menu

What to Order Off Fuds' Pretentious (and Fake) Menu


We are searching data for your request:

Forums and discussions:
Manuals and reference books:
Data from registers:
Wait the end of the search in all databases.
Upon completion, a link will appear to access the found materials.

Comedians pull a prank at GoogaMooga, trick foodies with absurd items

The Fuds logo, on menus handed out at Googa Mooga.

If you're one of the brave souls who braved the crowds at GoogaMooga this weekend, you may have picked up a menu for a place called Fuds. And after perusing the menu, maybe you caught sight of some dishes you've never heard of: panty slaw, sh*tty chicken, a Bill Clinton sandwich, or a two-bean d*ckhead wrap. Still want to order?

Turns out, the hilarious Fuds menu is a prank, pulled by comedians Dan Klein, Kelly Hudson, and Arthur Meyer. The trio (who work at The Onion, College Humor, and Jimmy Fallon's show) told the Huffington Post that it started as simply emailing weird and joke food names back and forth to each other. Two years later — and a long list of joke dishes — they decided to put it in menu form. They hired a designer to make the menus, and then handed out 5,000 of them at Brooklyn's food festival (perfect timing).

The pranksters said they've received hilarious feedback from the menu, and who wouldn't be giggling? Some other notable menu items below — we're only a tiny bit sad this place doesn't exist in real life.

• Facebook Fries

• A bowl of Norman paste

• Secret item with surprise bag

• Dalmation Milkfat Arbor Day Ale

• Garnick mushed malonies


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.


Demotivators

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.

Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.

We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.

We bring the people of the world together so you can watch them tear each other apart.

Forcing you to get the lead out because they don’t have any.

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Save your bravado for social media - you’re here to get work done.

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.

By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.

Yes, but Every Time I Try to See Things Your Way I Get a Headache.

New Paths Will Open Before You as Soon as You Lower Your Expectations.

Water Isn't the Only Thing that Rolls Downhill.

By Doing Just a Little Bit Every Day, You Can Gradually Let the Job Completely Overwhelm You.

Just look for me somewhere beyond the limits of human endurance.

Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.

When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.

You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

You wouldn't believe how little we spent on a poster to show how much you're worth.

If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.

My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.

Only works when you're not jerking in opposite directions like idiots.

Because somebody has to be right and it might as well be me.

One life's journey is another's destination.

You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.

If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.